It’s taken me a while to permit myself to write something like this. I’m not comfortable with it. I fear both sounding like a braggart and a complainer. But this is reality. It’s my life. I have to be okay with talking about it.
COVID tyrants implemented policies at my place of employment which resulted in me being fired earlier this year. That in and of itself is quite a story. And I’ll likely tell it one day but I need some dust to settle first.
Suffice it to say that I refused to live by lies.
And it cost me.
I know why so many people went along with all of the COVID nonsense. People—like me—who didn’t like what was happening, who were forced into making a choice without any other options at hand, who were dependent upon their paycheck, who had debts and bills to pay and families to support. They went along with it all because it would have cost them. And more than just losing a steady income. They’d lose friends or create awkward family dynamics. They’d gain a reputation. They’d have to drain their savings, their retirement. They’d have to start over. Find a job. Two jobs. Start every new interview with “Why did you leave your last job?” Go through bouts of anxiety, despair, doubt, anger, frustration. A sense of loneliness and failure. Struggles with pride and humility. Who knows what other dominos might fall.
For many that price was too high.
Well I paid it.
I’m paying it.
I’ve gone through all of what I mentioned above and more than I care to discuss. My decision has placed myself and my family in a bad spot. A real bad spot. For every person who has said my stance was brave there’s a person who is shocked or mystified at my selfishness. You can see it in their eyes and hear it in their tone: How unnecessary of you. How avoidable all of this could have been. All you had to do was…
Live a lie.
Some people weren’t put in the same position I was. They were able to ride the wave. Clear conscience. God bless ‘em. That wasn’t in the cards for me.
I feel like this should be the place where I share a word about standing on your principles and how those principles are rooted in truth and how that root is tapped into the Source of Life by faith in Jesus Christ the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth. Well there it is. I said it and it’s true and if it wasn’t I would have bowed the knee, pinched the incense, got the jab(s), swabbed my brain every week, masked up, and shut up.
That wasn’t a very eloquent paragraph but I hope it was slightly entertaining.
The thing is, even in the midst of the hardship where it’s very apparent that such a trial could have been avoided and everything looks lost; I have something that I didn’t have before. Proof. A report card. An established track record. Something substantial outside of the realm of theory. I no longer have to wonder if I have it in me when my back is against the wall. Nor do I have to wonder who has my back. I don’t have to play any ‘what if’ games. I know.
Things aren’t over. Dominos are still falling. (Inflation’s been a real peach). In some ways this trial is getting hotter every day. I don’t know how it will turn out. The cost is real. But I do know this. Christ sustains me. I lost my job. I didn’t lose Christ. I might lose my house but I can’t lose Christ.
And now I know—and so do you—exactly which side I’ll be on when another storm hits and I’m forced to live by lies comfortably or stand in the truth regardless of how high the cost. And I also know—practically, not theoretically—that Christ has sustained me through His body, through His church. I don’t just think I have people in my corner. I know. People who have willingly joined me to participate in paying the cost.
I’ve been able to put my faith to the test. Even if it is just a small trial in the grand scheme of things. I know from experience that though the cost is great, Christ is greater. What a glorious thing to be battle-tested.
Another storm will hit. It may not be a coerced medical procedure. It may not be on a global or nationwide scale. But something big will come your way and your back will be up against the wall. Anchor yourself now, before it hits. Bind yourself to the only thing that will keep you from crumpling under the pressure.
Yes this is an appeal to place your faith in Christ. To seek first the kingdom of heaven. Because you need to know there will be a cost. You need to know it’s going to be tough. Times will be dark. And if you are not rooted in Christ you will fall and wither. Find a church. Not a gay church. A church that gives you the gospel straight with no chaser. Surround yourself with believers who will lift you up when you cannot stand. Christ will be with you in your trial. He will be the sustenance for your journey.
Hear me now. If you are in Christ, whatever the cost, even if you lose everything; all your goods, all of your friends, your entire family, even if you die a painful, miserable death—you will endure.
This is the hope that fuels me. The faith that allows me to chose truth and pain over lies and comfort.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.